Just Another Death Eater Meeting
by luna and the marauders rock
Summary: What do you think a normal death eater meeting would be like? Let's say it not what you would expect. Very OOC Set in 6th year
1. Books

**Hi, sorry I haven't written in a while but let's say I have had a writer's block. Anyway here is an idea I had. Enjoy.**

**Just the Another Death Eater Meeting**

**Chapter 1: Books**

Severus Snape walked through the gates of Malfoy Manor, fashionably late as usual, wondering what this Death Eater meeting is actually going to be about. Whether it was going to be important or just another stupid meeting about why muggles have a toaster? Snape opened the doors to dining room where the meetings were usually held. Everyone was in there usual place; Voldemort at the end of the table sitting on a throne like chair acting as if he was the king of the world (well actually he is).

"Ah, Severus I see that you are late again," Voldemort stated.

"Indeed I am my Lord, I had a problem I needed to sort," Snape replied.

"Right them; now that we are all here I have a really important to discuss," Voldemort exclaimed.

"Which is my Lord," a Death Eater called Avery asked.

"Well, you see I have become fond of muggle books..."Voldemort started.

"MUGGLE BOOKS!" Bellatrix shrieked loudly.

"Yes muggle books, my dear Bellatrix, now as I was saying..." Voldemort carried on.

"Why do you like muggle books my Lord?" Dolohov interrupted.

"Well, I think that they are very interesting especially the books which contains wizards and witches. Anyway as I was saying I was wondering if anyone would recommend a good muggle book." Voldemort requested.

"Macbeth," Draco said very quickly while texting on his iPhone 4 to Hermione secretly.

"Draco can you stop texting this is a very serious matter on our hands?" His father asked.

"Fine," Draco replied in an annoyed teenagerish tone and put his phone inside his pocket. However he got it back out as soon as his father wasn't looking.

"Thank you Draco for your input however I have read Macbeth which very good with all the blood, murder and the evil witches. Sort of reminds me of Bellatrix. Any other suggestions?" Voldemort enquired.

"Well there is Pride and Prejudice..." Wormtail said very nervously.

By now Snape would be bored but instead he was extremely interested because this would be very funny to tell the Order. He could just picture there faces in tears of laughter especially the twins.

"I believe I have never read Pride and Prejudice. Tell me Wormtail what is about?" Voldemort asked.

"It's... about the muggle society in the 18th century and it follows the life of Elizabeth Bennet and Mr Darcy and how they fall in love," Wormtail replied.

"Thank you Wormtail I might read that sometime," Voldemort responded. Wormtail beamed who looked like a toddler who had been told he could have chocolate whenever he wanted.

"My lord, what is your favourite novel?" Yaxley asked.

"Twilight." Voldemort replied.

Suddenly, the entire room burst out laughing. Narcissa and Bellatrix were crying of laughter. Lucius had fallen off his chair backwards and was lying on the floor still laughing. Even Snape was laughing which was rare and it was a record because Snape never laughs for more than 10 seconds and now he had been laughing for at least a minute. Draco was texting Hermione the news and told her to pass it on. However, Voldemort just sat there looking at them as if they had all gone mad which was extremely ironic considering the situation.

"What? What's so funny?" Voldemort asked this had the expression on his face.

"You," Rodolphus Lestrange replied.

"Nothing is wrong with Twilight," Voldemort stated.

"Actually there is my Lord," Snape responded.

"Pray tell me Severus. What is wrong with Twilight?" Voldemort asked.

"Well firstly they made it into a film which means that they had doubled the amount of it. Secondly, the main character happens to be a depressing, boring and lives off men and does nothing. Thridy, they stole Cedric from us and turn him into a sparkly vampire. Fourthly which I should have put firstly it's a book about sparkly vampires who think that they are monsters. Fifthly, it is very strereotypical cliche and its rubbish. The list can go on if you want." Snape explained.

"Can I continue?" Draco asked a little bit too eagerly.

"Go on then Draco," Snape answered.

"Sixthly, they have gold eyes which they totally stole from Merlin which is much more epic. Seventhly the book came to the author in a dream and it is not good to dwell on dreams. Eighthy, they don't sleep which is weird and they don't eat. Ninthly, other vampires such as Vampire diaries, moragnville vampires are actually a bit more believeable. Tenthly, they don't burn in sunlight which is rubbish because they can't die as easily." Draco exclaimed.

"I still think that it is the best book ever. Go on if you all think that Twilight is rubbish which it's not, what's your favourite muggle book?" Voldemort retorted.

"Macbeth," Draco said.

"Pride and Prejudice," Wormtail said.

"Oliver Twist," Avery said.

"Jane Eyre," Narcissa said.

"I don't read muggle books," Lucius and Bellatrix said at the same time.

"And you Snape?" Voldemort asked.

Snape was wondering whether he should say his considering that it's completely weird and no one expected him to like it.

"50 Shades of Grey," Snape said finally admitting his secret.

"That's just completely..." replied Yaxley.

"GROSS," Bellatrix shouted.

"Ok I know but I think it just a good muggle book," Snape replied.

"Snape you have a dirty mind," Lucius stated.

"I know but at least I read books unlike you," Snape answered.

"Anyway thank you Snape for admitting your secret. Now to other topics why do muggles have a toaster?" Voldemort asked.

By that point, Snape slapped his forehead and thought I should have known it would go back to this.

**Please Review and let me know if you want any more chapters and can you give me ideas as well. They are all welcome. =)**


	2. Films

**Hello, my friend has insisted that I write more so there will be several chapters after this one. Not sure how many yet. Anyway here is the next chapter.**

**Chapter 2: Films **

Well, let's say that wasn't the end of the Death Eater meeting. Yes Voldemort did get asked about why muggles have toasters again and again the Death Eaters tried to explain to him why muggles have toasters. Somehow, this lead to Voldemort's extremely insane obsession of Twilight.

"Severus, you say before that Twilight was made into a film..." Voldemort stated.

"Yes, I did my Lord," Snape replied.

"Well I was wondering, what's a film?" Voldemort asked looking very puzzled.

"A film is a story told in such a sequence of images which is shown on a screen," Snape explained.

"Huh?" Voldemort said.

"Basically, it's a long programme that you watch on the TV," Draco shouted at Voldemort.

"Do you want to be Crucioed?" Voldemort threatened.

"No." Draco responded sheepishly.

"Well then shut up," Voldemort said.

Draco remained quiet so he decided to get out his iPhone again and text Hermione since he hadn't spoken to her in like 30 minutes via phone. They had been secretly going out since the start of sixth year. However Draco had fancied her since thrid year where she punched him in the face.

"Anyway now I know what a film is, how do I watch it?" Voldemort enquired.

"Well like Draco er... said you need to watch it on a TV and you may need a DVD player," Narcissa exxplained who happened to do Muggle Studies at Hogswarts and somehow remembered how to watch films.

"What's a TV and DVD player?" Voldemort asked.

"A television is a system of producing a moving image and accompanying sound on a distant screen," Snape started. **(AN you probably figured that I have been using a dictionary)**

"A DVD player is a machine where you watch DVD's on," Wormtail finsihed.

"Ok what's a DVD?" Voldemort asked.

"A DVD is a digital video disk so basically it contains the fim in it," Draco said since he just wanted this meeting to be over since Voldemort was being exceptionally thick.

"WHY DON'T YOU USE A MUGGLE DICTIONARY TO FIND OUT WHAT ALL THE WORDS MEAN!" Bellatrix screamed who had finally lost her patience.

"Do you want to be Crucioed?" Voldemort threatened.

"Haven't you used that threat already?" Lucius stated.

"So,"Voldemort snapped

Lucius remained silent. This was one of the times when you just had to be quiet because the Voldemort was in one of his moods. Generally, the Dark Lord had mood swings because of the amount of 'stress' he was. He was scared that Harry Potter was going to run in and kill him since he forgets that he has horcruxes and a bunch of Death Eaters to protect him.

"Anyway, does anyone own the Twilight DVD?" Voldemort asked.

"Can't you just transfigurate something into it?" Avery stated.

"Oh yes, well done Avery for being a genius. That means I can transfigurate something into a DVD player and a TV as well," Voldemort ranted.

"Why didn't you just tell Voldemort that in the first place?!" Lucius shouted

"Well he didn't ask that," Avery replied annoyed.

"Shut up you two, I want to watch Twilight," Voldemort said urgently.

"My lord, could you please watch the film after our meeting?" Snape asked as politely as he could.

"Fine. What was this meeting about anyway?" Voldemort asked.

"You wondering what muggle book to read," Wormtail reminded Voldemort.

"Oh yes, I remember and Severus said that his favourite book was Fifty Shades of Grey," Voldemort stated.

"EW! Don't remind me of that," Bellatrix shrieked; Snape justed rolled his eyes at her.

"What's wrong with Fifty Shades of Grey?" Snape asked.

"EVERYTHING!" Draco shouted.

"Well, the Dark Lord likes Twilight," Snape exclaimed.

"But that's just him," Draco replied.

"Hey don't be rude or I will Imperio you," Voldemort stated.

"Well done my Lord you came up with a different insult," Lucius praised.

"Thank you but I prefer the other one. Now can we change the topic to something less disturbing?" Voldemort asked.

"How about favourite films?" Wormtail suggested eagerly.

"Wonderful idea Wormtail. I will start my favourite film is Twilight," Voldemort declared.

"Pirates of the Carrribbean," Draco said still looking at his phone.

"No no no no you are doing it all wrong Draco. You needed to say my favourite film is... got it," Voldemort explained. Draco nodded.

"Ok then my favourite film is Pirates of the Caribbean," Draco replied bored.

"Thank you, next," Voldemort said.

"My favourite film is Titanic," Narcissa stated.

"I hate that film," Bellatrix said.

"Why?" Narcissa asked.

"Because it is a love film," Bellatrix explained.

"What about the part when the boat sinks," Luicus suggested.

"I love that part! There is sooo much death! Bellatrix exclaimed eagerly.

"Enlighten us Bellatrix what is your favourite film?" Voldemort asked excitedly.

"My favourite film is Final Desination," Bellatrix stated proudly.

"I thought you would say that," Lucius said.

"Go on then Lucius what's yours?" Voldemort asked.

"My favourite film is Letters to Juliet," Lucius said rather sheepishly.

"Wait what you like Letters to Juliet but isn't that a chick flic," Bellatrix chuckled but it ended up into laughter.

Eventually, the entrie room (except for Lucius obivously) was in laughter. Narcissa had tears in her eyes and was wondering why on earth she had married this man. Bellatrix had fallen off her chair and wasn't bothering to get up since she couldn't get over what Lucius had said. The reaction happened to look also the same when the Dark Lord had announced that he liked Twilight. However Lucius looked completely embarassed, he was blushing bright red which looked extremely abnormal on a Malfoy since they were so pale.

Finally the silence was broken up by Voldemort who wanted to watch Twilight and told them all to bog off but he said that he would see them tomorrow. Snape decided that to go to the Order and see if they could use the information about Lucius liking Letters for Juliet for blackmail.

Death Eater meetings were never normal.

**Please Review =)**


	3. Fridges

**Hey, these next 2 chapters are deciated to phoenixqueen15 who has gave me some ideas for the next 2 chapters! Thanks anyway here is the next chapter. Btw if you haven't heard of Letters to Juliet it's a chic flick and it's a modern version of Romeo and Juliet.**

Chapter 3: Fridges

Snape's arm began to ache, like really ache. Not from tiredness but from his dark mark. This could only mean one thing. Another Death Eater meeting. This was never good but Snape couldn't really refuse it unless he wanted to be busted as a spy.

Anyway, Snape apparated to the Malfoy Manor and enterd the grounds via the massive gates. He walked to the dining room and opened the door. For once everything looked normal and the room was silent. Until, Voldemort began to the start the meeting...

"Severus, it has come to my attention that you told me what your favourite film was?"Voldemort asked quite eagerly.

"It's Sinister my lord," Snape replied confidently.

The room was at confusion, most people expected Snape to say that he secretly liked a chic flick like Lucius had said yesterday. However, Snape had proved them wrong.

"But..." Bellatrix started.

"Hush now dear Bellatrix, I need to speak. Anyway I watched Twilight yesterday and I thought that it was just as good as the book," Voldemort exclaimed.

"No it's not my lord, the books and films are as bad as each other," Draco responded.

"Well I don't care that is just your opinion," Voldemort said rudely.

"Actually you should listen to me becasue Twilight is aimed at people at my age," Draco replied.

Voldemort ignored him since he believed that Twilight was the best thing in the world and he wouldn't let anyone change his mid

"Fine then, Mum I'm hungry!" Draco whined like a little child.

"Well go and look in the fridge," Narcissa suggested.

"Ok then," Draco replied and left the room.

"What's a fridge?" Voldemort asked.

At that point, the entire room rolled their eyes and thought for a Dark Lord, he is really thick. While the room was thinking of how to explain this to the Dark Lord, Draco had entered in the room with a chocolate bar and a can of Coco Cola.

"What did I miss?" Draco asked puzzled at everyone's expressions.

"The Dark Lord doesn't know what a fridge is," Bellatrix replied.

"Well, I don't," Voldemort said quickly.

"My lord, a fridge is something that you store food in to keep it cool," Wormtail tried to explain.

"So like a cupboard," Voldemort suggested.

"NOOOOOOOOOO!" Bellatrix shouted extremely frustrated.

"My lord, a fridge is colder than a cupboard," Yaxley said very patronising.

"Ok," Voldemort said like a kid.

"I'm glad we have got that sorted so my lord what was this meeting about?" Lucius asked.

"I don't know, I was bored and I felt like bossing some people around for a bit for fun," Voldemort.

"So who are you going to boss around then," Avery asked.

"Let me think... Ooooh I know if your first name has an r in it then stand up and over to the fireplace," Voldemort said.

Draco, Severus, Narcissa, Wormtail (who was already standing), Bellatrix, Avery and some other nameless Death Eaters stood up and walked to the fire place.

"The rest of you who are sitting, I want you to go find me a fridge and bring it to me here. You have an hour, goodbye," Voldemort ordered.

The rest of the group which was about 1/4 of the Death Eaters which included Lucius, Yaxley and some others ran out of the room and probably went to Diagon Alley to buy a fridge.

"Now, the rest of you I want you lot to go to get me some food for the fridge and a party as well since I'm in a mood for one now. Now go," Voldemort ordered again.

The other Death Eaters ran off the supermarket to go and get some food for the fridge and the pointless party. Voldemort sat at the end of the table with a smirk on his face, stroking Nagini.

"I love being the boss," Voldemort said then doing his evil laugh.

_One hour later..._

Eventually all the Death Eaters came in, out of breath and carrying shopping bags of food which had been bought from Asda. Lucius and Yaxley had come in with the fridge and had asked Voldemort where he wanted it. Voldemort who felt like being annoying suggested to take it to his room which was on the thrid floor. Lucius and Yaxley were not impressed but left the room with the fridge with them. They eventually returned and joined in with the pointless party.

"My Lord, what are we celebrating?" Narcissa asked.

"Me getting a fridge," Voldemort said while stuffing his face with sausage rolls.

"Is that really worth celebrating about?" Draco stated.

"Yes, yes it is," Voldemort responded still eating sausage rolls.

"My lord, sausage rolls are not the healthiest of foods. Try some salad," Snape suggested.

"No and are you suggesting that I am fat because I am quite the opposite," Voldemort replied.

"No I wasn't my Lord but not everyone in here is as skinny as you," Snape said very sneakly.

"Who are you suggesting is fat, Severus?" Voldemort asked.

"Wormtail," Snape said quickly.

"HEY!"Wormtail shouted.

"Shut up Wormtail and you are quite right Severus, Wormtail is rather large length ways," Voldemort pointed out.

Wormtail pretended to cry so that Snape and Voldemort would take what they said back but of cousre they didn't and carried on eating, ignoring Wormtail. The party carried on until everyone was full and Voldemort wanted to go spend time with his new fridge which he had called Henry because he liked the name.

As Snape was leaving the room, Bellatrix came up behind him and said...

"The Dark Lord is turning into a muggle."

"You're quite right," Snape replied and walked off towards his home. He turned around and saw Voldemort hugging his fridge. Bellatrix was right, Voldemort is turning muggle.

**Please Review =)**


	4. Mobile Phones

**Firstly I'm soooooo sorry that I haven't updated in ages. My excuses are that I haven't had time and I have been doing a lot of exams lately. However, I'm offically on my holidays so hopefully I shall update a bit more often. This chapter is deciated to phoenixqueen15 since she gave me the idea. Anyway, here is the next chapter.**

Chapter 4: Mobile Phones

Snape had told the Order of the Phoenix about Voldemort turning into muggle. People like Tonks and the Weasley Twins thought it was hilarious since Voldemrt was turning into the person that he wanted to kill. The Dark Lord is strange yet quite uniqueas well.

Anyway, today's meeting is actually one that was scheduled. Death Eater meetings that are planned are on Sunday 8am to 10am and Friday 10pm to Midnight; today it's Sunday. Snape had just arrived to the manor and wait you already have heard this like three times so let's skip the boring parts aand get to the good bit.

So Snape sits down at his seat which is to the right of Lord Voldemort...

"Can someone remind me why we have planned meetings?" Voldemort asked.

"To be honest, I don't really know," Yaxley replied.

"Right then new rule planned meetings are out, just come when I call," Voldemort suggested.

"YES!" Draco shouted with joy and started jumping up and down happily.

"Draco, sit down you are embarassing me," Lucius said annoyed. Draco sat down and sulked.

"May I ask why Draco you are happy?" Voldemort asked.

"Because, I always missed parties which were on a Friday just so I could come to the meetings and I had to leave early on the Saturday ones so that I wasn't tired in the morning for the meetings." Draco explained.

"You could have told me that you missing out in the school parties because I know that they were quite fun," Voldemort said.

"Yeah well it's doesn't matter now because I CAN GO TO PARTIES AGAIN!" Draco shouted and once again was jumping around with excitement. Luicus, this time decided it was best leave the teenager alone.

Finally, Draco sat down and got out his Iphone 4 and started to text all his friends (including Blaise and Pansy who actually do have mobile phone since it became quite popular in fifth year. Apparenty everyone was having them to be rebellious againist Umbridge's rules) his news about how he can probably going to parties.

"Well since we are all here, I think we should dicuss something my lord," Avery asked.

"Good idea Avery, now I now what we can dicuss. Draco what is peculiar object you are holding?" Voldemort enquired.

"It's an Iphone 4 my Lord," Draco replied holding up the pone and moving it around to show everyone. Everyone ooh and aah.

Apart from Bellatrix who shouted. "I have seen one of those before, it's a mob phone,"

"Mobile phone," Draco corrected.

"But I thought it was an Iphone 4," Voldemort questioned.

"It's both, the Iphone is a type of mobile phone so you can have Blackberry, Samsung or Nokia but Iphone 4 is the best," Draco stated.

"I'm afraid Draco you quite wrong, I believe that the Samsung Galaxy is better," Snape implied.

"No it's not"

"Yes it is,"

"No it's not"

"Yes it is,"

"No it's not"

"Yes it is,"

"No it's not"

"Yes it is,"

"But I thought Galaxy was a type of chocolate," Wormtail asked.

"It is but it's a type of phone as well," Narcissa said to put Wormtail out of his misery.

"No it's not"

"Yes it is,"

"No it's not"

"Yes it is,"

"SHUT UP!" Lucius shouted.

Draco and Snape went silent and stared at each other with annoyance.

"Thank you," Lucius said.

Suddenly, there was an awkward silence and no one dared to speak until...

"Awkward turtle," Draco said.

"What?" Voldemort asked completely puzzled.

"Oh just something we do at school," Draco explained.

"Right... anyway before Draco ad Snape started their argument I wanted to ask something. What are mobile phones?" Voldemort enquired.

"Muggles use them to communicate with each other," Snape explained.

"Oh I know you are talking about now, they have them on Twilight! Wow that's sooo cool. I want one," Voldemort said with excitement.

Everyone was staring at Voldemort as if he had gone completely mad. Last week, he wanted a fridge, the week before he wanted to know what good muggle books there were and he watched Twilight on a television. Let's say the Death Eaters were starting to think that the Dark Lord had lost the plot. However, they were wrong he hadn't lost it completely but most of it.

"However, before I get one, I fancy killing some muggles and mudbloods," Voldemort suggested.

"FINALLY!" Belltatrix shrieked and like Draco had before she started jumping around as well.

"Must be a family thing," Yaxley whispered to Snape.

"I can't agree more," Snape replied back.

"WHERE? WHEN? HOW? WHO?" Bellatrix shouted again.

"In all good time Bellatrix, we shall be killing on the way to the mobile phone shop," Voldemort exclaimed.

"Wonderful when will that be?" Bellatrix asked eagerly.

"Tonight, about 9 o clock wait no... 8 o clock because the shops shut earlier on a Sunday but in the mean time I going for a nap." Voldemort said.

With that, the Dark Lord got up from his seat and walked out of the room without anyone asking.

"So, what now?" Narcissa asked.

"Back to Hogwarts for me, I fancy a nap myself," Draco said and did exactly what Voldemort did except he stopped at the door and said to Snape,

"Iphone 4 is still better than Samsung Galaxy."

"Ah Draco, you have earned yourself a week's detention cleaning the trophey room for that," Snape said smirking.

Never disagree with a teacher or who knows what punishment you will get.

**Please Review and I may update quicker**


	5. Music

**Ok I know it has been over a month and I had a very busy month so I haven't had time. So I'm really sorry. This chapter is dedicated to Ravenclaw Reality who gave me the idea. Enjoy =)**

Chapter 5: Music

Later that day when Draco and Snape returned to school, Draco ended up having his detention cleaning the trophy room with Filch like everyone else does in Hogwarts. Also the Death Eaters did go and harass the muggles and Voldemort did kill several of them which pleased Bellatrix. Though Bellatrix did have to wake Voldemort up from his so called 'nap' since he had been sleeping for at least 7 hours.

It was now a week later from all the talk about mobile phones. Now this meeting took place in the Dark Forest for change since Voldemort felt like a change of scenery and was fed up with the dreary look of Malfoy Manor.

Snape casually walked down the grounds on Hogwarts in a black cloak and he hid his face when he walked past Hagrid's hut. Snape could see Draco taking the same route about 50 meters to the right of him.

About 10 minutes later, Snape and Draco arrived to the spot where the meeting was taking place. The Death Eaters plus Voldemort were sat cross legged on the ground in a circle acting like everything was normal. Well not all the Death Eaters, you see Lucius didn't like the idea of sitting on the ground so he had transfigured a twig into a piece of carpet to sit on.

"Ahh Snape, what do you think of our change of scenery? It's very peaceful, don't you think?" Voldemort asked as Snape and Draco joined the circle.

"I rather like it my lord, it's more convenient for Draco and I, I had time to mark my fifth year's homework," Snape replied with sort of a smile.

"Good for you," Bellatrix said sarcastically, Snape rolled his eyes at her.

At that moment, Draco's iPhone 4 went off; Draco casually got it out and saw that it was Blaise ringing him. Then casually touched the reject button; Draco's ringtone was Back in Black by acdc.

"Draco, what was that coming out of your phone?" Voldemort asked curiously.

"Err… muggle music, my lord," Draco replied thinking how does he not know this?

"Strange, I never have heard any muggle music before," Voldemort said puzzled.

"Are you sure my lord? Have you ever heard the Star Wars theme tune?" Lucius asked.

"What?" Voldemort replied even more puzzled.

Draco decided that he had enough of Voldemort's ignorance to muggle music so he started to play popular muggle music. Voldemort did recognise the Star Wars theme tune along with Justin Beiber, One Direction and the Spice Girls. However, he didn't recognise Queen, the Beatles or Mozart. This made Draco shocked and annoyed.

"How do you not know Queen, they are legends?" Draco shouted at Voldemort.

"Well I think One Direction are legends actually," Voldemort snapped back.

"No my lord, you don't want to mixing with the wrong type of music," Snape mentioned.

"What do you mean?" Voldemort asked confused.

"Well you see my lord, One Direction and Justin Beiber are classed as what is known as 'manufactured pop' where they don't write the music or song and they are unable to play instruments. Plus they probably have little knowledge of music. Whereas Queen and the Beatles write their own songs, have lots of musical knowledge and can play instruments. Do you get my point now?" Snape explained.

"Yes," Voldemort replied.

"Draco, why do you have the Spice Girls on your iPhone 4?" Narcissa asked concerned.

"Erm…" Draco mumbled.

"Draco," Narcissa said sternly.

"They are my guilty pleasure," Draco whispered.

"Pardon?" Bellatrix said.

"They are my guilty pleasure," Draco said a bit louder.

"Pardon?" Bellatrix said.

"THEY ARE MY GUILTY PLEASURE, HAPPY NOW?" Draco shouted.

"Very," Bellatrix smirked.

Suddenly, it became awkward and what made it more awkward was that a turtle slowly passed the circle of Death Eaters.

"What's a turtle doing here?" Avery asked.

"It's an awkward turtle," Voldemort said.

"How did you know that?" Bellatrix said slightly shocked.

"I know lots of things. Now who is up for a song," Voldemort said excitedly.

"Go on then, what are we going to sing?" Snape said looking bored.

"How about What makes you beautiful by One Direction," Voldemort said eagerly.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Draco shouted.

"Rude, it was only a suggestion," Voldemort said annoyed.

"I just hate that song," Draco replied.

"Fine, what do you suggest?" Voldemort asked.

"We don't sing," Draco said grumpily.

"That's boring, I am going to sing One Direction anyway," Voldemort said and started singing.

_You're insecure,_

_Don't know what for, _

"Shut up," Draco demanded.

_You're turning heads when you walk through the door, _

_Don't need make-up, _

_To cover up,_

"Shut up!" Draco said louder.

_Being the way that you are is enough,_

_Everyone else in the room can see it,_

_Everyone else but you,_

"SHUT UP ALREADY!" Draco shouted.

"No need to be rude," Voldemort barked.

"I sing you a real song," Draco said and started singing Another Bites the Dust by Queen.

_Another one bites the dust_

_Another one bites the dust_

_And another one gone, and another one gone_

_Another one bites the dust_

_Hey, I'm gonna get you too_

_Another one bites the dust._

"You see that's real music," Draco said knowingly.

"I still prefer One Direction to Queen," Voldemort replied.

"Poo you, I'm going back to school to listen to real music not that rubbish you call No Direction," Draco stated and got up to walk back to school to listen to 'real music'.

"I better me going as well my lord," Snape said as well.

"We all better leave now, it's dangerous to be out here too long especially with the noise we were making," Voldemort said intelligently.

"We?" Narcissa questioned.

"Ok fine, Draco and I with our singing competition," Voldemort replied.

"That's better," Narcissa replied.

"And I sooooo won and look Draco isn't here to retort. One Direction is way better than Queen," Voldemort said happily.

**Please Review and don't forget to mention whether you prefer One Direction or Queen.**

**I prefer Queen!**


	6. Death Eaters watch Romeo and Juliet

**Sorry for not updating, I have been really busy. Anyway, this chapter is slightly different from others and you will see soon. This chapter is dedicated to koreanpotter. Enjoy.**

Chapter 6: Death Eaters watch Romeo and Juliet

The next day, after Voldemort and Draco had their singing battle and Voldemort supposedly won. The Death Eaters were bored in Malfoy Manor, it was raining outside and everyone felt extremely lazy and fed up so they lounged on Lucius' sofas. It happened to be a Friday which meant that Draco was at school, Narcissa was visiting friends and Lucius was at work.

"I bored what we shall do?" asked Bellatrix.

"I fancy a film," Voldemort suggested and everyone agreed.

So Voldemort got up from the sofa and walked over to Lucius' DVD collection and looked at the films they could watch. This included Love Story, The Sound of Music, Mary Poppins, My Fair Lady, Funny Girl and Romeo and Juliet.

"Anyone fancy a bit of Shakespeare?" Voldemort asked.

There was a choruses of 'yes', 'ok', 'don't mind' and 'no' which happened to be Bellatrix. Voldemort just ignored her and placed the Romeo and Juliet DVD into the DVD player and turned on the TV.

They began to watch the film with several people interrupting at random parts. This included the first lines.

_Two households, both alike in dignity,_

_In fair Verona, where we lay our scene,_

_From ancient grudge break to new mutiny,_

_Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean._

_From forth the fatal loins of these two foes_

_A pair of star-cross'd lovers take their life;_

_Whose misadventured piteous overthrows_

_Do with their death bury their parents' strife._

_The fearful passage of their death-mark'd love,_

_And the continuance of their parents' rage,_

_Which, but their children's end, nought could remove,_

_Is now the two hours' traffic of our stage;_

_The which if you with patient ears attend,_

_What here shall miss, our toil shall strive to mend._

"What's the point of telling the plot at the beginning of the film?" Dolohov asked obviously not impressed with the choice of film.

"Because it grabs the watcher's attention, duh," Voldemort replied looking at Dolohov as if he was stupid.

This continued for the rest of the film where Voldemort continued to get annoyed at several people interrupting in the film, this included Wormtail once, Avery twice, Yaxley three times and Bellatrix who interrupted so much that I lost count after 23 times.

By the end of the film, Voldemort was in the mood to Crucio someone so he did to some random poor Death Eater who hadn't spoken through the entire film.

"You lot are sooo frustrating sometimes," Voldemort said angrily after he had finished crucioing that Death Eater who had passed out.

"What? The film was really boring," Bellatrix stated.

"No it wasn't I thought it was actually a very good film," Voldemort replied.

"Better than Twilight?" Wormtail asked.

"No, nothing can beat Twilight," Voldemort exclaimed and everyone looked at him weirdly.

"You know, what I don't get about this film is why didn't Romeo and Juliet just not go out in the first place. Then they wouldn't have caused so much trouble and then died. Completely load of nonsense," Avery explained.

"Because you moron, that was the whole point of the film," Yaxley replied.

"Oh," Avery said.

Everyone looked at as if he was stupid.

"Anyone fancy watching the special features?" Voldemort asked.

"No," Everyone replied since they all hated the film, because 1. It was in Shakespearean language and no one understood what on Earth they were saying and 2. They found the story to rubbish and boring. Voldemort just ignored them and put on the special features.

"Poo you," Voldemort replied.

"The only one good thing that came from that film was Leonardo DiCaprio," Bellatrix stated.

"Wait, are you saying that you like Leonardo DiCaprio?" Dolohov asked.

"What? He's very good looking," Bellatrix replied.

Then the entire room minus Bellatrix burst into language. Who knew that Bellatrix Lestrange liked Leonardo DiCaprio, strange isn't it?

"Love, I feel rejected," Rodolphus Lestrange said.

"Well tough, Leonardo is fitter than you," Bellatrix said and Rodolphus sulked.

"Did I just hear Bellatrix said that Leonardo DiCaprio is fit?" Lucius asked as he entered the living room looking rather confused.

"Yes you did just hear that Bellatrix thinks that Leonardo DiCaprio is fit," Voldemort stated.

"Ok, have you been watching Romeo and Juliet or Titanic?" Lucius asked.

"You have Titanic?" Wormtail asked.

"Yes I do," Lucius replied.

"Why didn't we watch that my Lord?" Wormtail asked.

"Because I wanted to watch Romeo and Juliet and I'm the boss, what I say, goes," Voldemort said smirking and Wormtail looked like he was going to cry.

"Why didn't you tell me that you were watching Romeo and Juliet, I would have joined you," Lucius stated.

"Because you probably have banned us from watching it," Voldemort replied.

"And you would have annoyed us with your constant reciting the lines," Bellatrix added.

"_O! she doth teach the torches to burn bright , It seems she hangs upon the cheek of night," _ Lucius recited.

"My point exactly," Bellatrix exclaimed.

"_Like a rich jewel in an Ethiop's ear; Beauty too rich for use, for earth too dear." _ Voldemort recited as well.

"Oh not you as well, why couldn't you just be evil?" Bellatrix asked.

"I am evil, I will prove it to you," Voldemort said and crucioed the death eater who he crucioed about 5 minutes ago again but this time the death eater was still unconscious so being crucioed woke him up.

"See I am evil," Voldemort stated after he finished crucioing and that death eater passed out again.

"Right," Bellatrix replied rolling her eyes.

The day went on with Lucius and Voldemort reciting lines from Romeo and Juliet until Voldemort realised that he had been rejecting Twilight and ran to his room to go and watch Twilight for like the 27th time. Bellatrix decided that she better watch a horror film so she watched Final Destination 2 and laughed at everyone who died. Wormtail nicked Titanic from Lucius and hid in his room and watched it whilst Lucius watched Romeo and Juliet and recited the lines.

And that Death Eater who kept getting crucioed, well he was passed out on the floor and was like that for 7 hours. Poor soul.

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